If I could write a song....

If I could write a song, these would be the lyrics....

I just want to be happy
But how to be....

Looking at the rainbow?
Or getting a praise?
Am I so shallow?
Tell me what are the ways?
I just want to be happy.

Is love enough to make one happy?
Is it love afterall?
Is life a therapy?
I feel I always fall.

Is it just my hormones,
Playing tricks on me.
Is it just my PMS,
Making me crazy.

Am I too free,
Thinking of all these,
Everyone else is making money,
Here I am not at ease.

What's wrong with me,
Dirty heart? Dirty soul?
Go and clean up then,
Stop worrying about my rice bowl.

Why so hard up,
For others to appreciate,
Just grow up,
They don't guard Heaven's gates.

I shall be grateful,
I should be,
Maybe that's the answer,
To be happy.

Thinking aloud

Appreciate me is all I ask for but I guess that's too much and too diifficult to be done.

Don't start thanking me because the people whom this message is for don't read this.

I've been tagged - Songs significant to me at 18

Blast from the Past!

Rules as follows:

1)Go to Pop Culture Madness site.
2)Pick the year you turned 18 years old.
3)Get yourself nostalgic over the songs that year.
4)Write something about how those songs affected you.

1)It must have been love - Roxette



In 1990, when I was 18, I felt very alone in JC. Most of my friends were in other institutions. I was also finding myself. I was searching for my identity. I wanted to know if I was really who I was. So, I did a lot of adjustments with the people I was hanging out with, the people I was talking to, the people I was seeing, the activities I did, in a very radical manner. No - of course I didn't orchestrate a massacre. I was still sane. I just attempted to make personal changes to my life overnight.

So, this song, describes quite closely what I was feeling at that point. It was a stressful and tearful period of my life but I have since moved on.

2)No More Rhyme - Debbie Gibson



Here's another song that I listened to quite frequently at that time. I guess, I was really an emotional-think-too-much wreck then and very much a minor.

Toilet training

It hasn't been easy. I started when my son was 3 years old but each time there was an accident, I made him wear the diapers back because of the hassle of cleaning up. We started over and over again. We even bought Thomas briefs for him so that he is more motivated to go to the toilet to pee.

Eventually, on the 17th of April, I prepared a Toilet Training Progress Chart and used stickers to encourage him to pee and defecate at the right places. It has been working and I must say this is something that made me happy and smile a lot more. However, after about 4 days, I was rather lax about the sticker and praise award and so the peeing took place elsewhere but not the toilet.

It's always best to have the children to be intrinsically motivated but when you are the Laundry and Interior Cleaning Manager, you always want less hand-wash laundry and less urine-cleaning to do. You also want to work less like dogs - having to sniff for urine smell from the carpet, the mattress, the floor....so I am going to buy more stickers.

Ministers' visit to my neighbourhood

I had just finished cleaning the squids when DH announced that Dr Yacob Ibrahim, the Minister-in-charge of Water and the Environment, was at the gateball court in front of my house. Not that I was so thrilled. I was just curious and of course a little excited over the buzz. When I looked out, Dr Yacob was with the other Tampines MPs as well.

And what I did not expect was when they looked up and waved. I can't believe it. Mr Mah Bow Tan, Mr Masagos and Dr Yacob waved at me.... hah hah hah... and I politely waved back. However, I did wish that I was more appropriately dressed...

I miss my girl

Tonight is the first time ever, that my girl has chosen to sleep over at her paternal grandparents' house.

I regret tremendously not to spend much time with her in the afternoon. She was pestering me to read to her while I was way too exhausted and sleepy to entertain her.

Now, I can't sleep well.

It's not as bad as I painted it to be.

I met an ex-schoolmate by chance at Giant Tampines. I have the tendency to complain and rattle on the unhappy side of being a stay-at-home mum when pp ask about life and feel miserable after that for not depicting the overall picture.

Well, actually, being a stay-at-home mum has its annoying moments but definitely, there are many other fulfilling moments too.... So next time if pp ask, what am I going to say...

X : So how's life?
Me : Great and not great but I am moderately happy, Alhamdulillah.
X : What do you mean?
Me : Great because I have more time with the kids and someone like me who can't bear leaving the kids, this arrangement is supposed to be perfect...But at times, you feel that you want extra cash to send yr child to a gd enrichment class - to expose them to a good curriculum and more socialising but I am not too worried about that... I am happy anyway... I am okay...

But in reality, I have the tendency to say something else... and so I shoudn't.