Monday, February 06, 2006

Happy Birthday my son.


My beloved son turns 3 today. How time flies. As I see him sleeping soundly in his room, I could recall how ecstatic I was the first time I was pregnant with him. I was just too overjoyed that I could not believe it was for real.

After more than (12 x 4yrs = 48)48 months of trying to conceive, I finally got pregnant in late May 2002. Initially, I thought, I would be the top Singapore purchaser of pregnancy test kits. Imagine the amount of money I spent on pregnancy test kits, month in month out, year in year out. Each time my period came late, my hopes would escalate high up beyond the sky only to be dashed later by the negative indicator on the pregnancy test kit. Each time I felt giddy or nauseous, I thought it would be good news. Imagine the amount of tears I shed discreetly in public and at home each time I see children. I thought, I was going to grow old lonely.

The long and arduous journey of waiting and trying finally ended only after He took my grandma. Two months after I came back from Haj and a month or so after my grandma passed away, I conceived. The turn of events though baffled me, made me appreciate even more how His will is the final determinant of what happens.

If my son is so precious, why then do I become so impatient with him when he does something wrong. Why do I become such a tigress when he does something annoying. What is there to lose if I become a little more patient? What is there to lose if I become a little more merciful? What is there to lose if I become more forgiving?

Yes, he scattered the toothpicks all over the kitchen floor in the midst of me busily preparing dinner. He spilled milk all over the table and tried to wipe with his bare hands when he saw me coming. He insisted on staying longer at the playground when I was in a hurry for home to prepare lunch. But, he is afterall a child.

I bet I was not perfect either as a child. Which child never spill milk or scatter whatever onto the floor. Which child doesn't enjoy playing at the playground.

If I want my child to be patient, merciful and forgiving, I can't continue to be so fierce with him. I truly regret sometimes when I scream or shout at him for just being a child.

I need to genuinely have patience, mercy and forgiveness for a lovely son like him (and daughter too)because at the end of the day our children will mirror our behaviour to a large extent.

I want to be a better parent to you - more loving, more fun and be fair to you and one who pleases Him. Happy Birthday Son.

10 Comments:

At 4:38 PM, Blogger yuRa said...

awww... such a sweet entry.

happy belated birthday muhammad abdullah!

may Allah answer your prayers in making you a calmer person. and for me too! for the sake of our children!

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger yuRa said...

diorang tengok apa tu on the floor?

ooh kak! dah beli digicam eh? : )

 
At 10:52 PM, Blogger Nani said...

The previous camera rosak. Budak2 tengok semut.

Amin! Ever since I become a mother, I lose my cool quite often. But I think it shouldn't be like thatlah.

 
At 1:26 PM, Blogger yuRa said...

tengok semut begitu punya khusyuk eh? lol!

kalau hani, nampak semut dari jauh dia dah cramp. semut boleh buat apa seh kat dia? hahahah

ever since i become a mother, aku yang impatient ini bertambah tambah tak sabar... apa nak jadi...

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger melayudilondon said...

oh what a sweet entry! memang lah we all time bebudak memang terror abis. Nani, I seem to remember you telling me that once you and your sis taruk your smallest sis into one of those big periuk and main swing-swing. habis kena marah with your mom. I pong ingat my sis and I kacau-kacau each other using janur time they all nak anyam ketupat. lepas tu kaki & tangan kena ikat dgn janur tu. hahahahahaha

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Nani said...

After that kena kejar dgn tali pinggang. Org dulu2 ni macam tools dorang pakai nak pukul budak. Rotanlah, tali pingganglah. Hai, nasib baik kita ni jadi manusia, heh. Alhamdulillah. Budak2 sekarang sikit kena, lari dari rumah pulak.

 
At 3:09 AM, Blogger yuRa said...

eh. i still use the rotan you know!

tali pinggang - bapak budak2 tu buat eksyen je..

tu pun dierang tak takut ah. :p

 
At 3:10 AM, Blogger yuRa said...

eh. i don't remember the story pasal azidah masuk periuk. kau cerita kat aku ke, nani?

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Nani said...

I don't really rememnber clearly but I think si Idah masuk one of those huge periuks - untuk masakkan orang kahwin. I think we played hide-and-seek. In the end, my mum fed-up, we ran lintang pukang. I think I tried to squeeze behind the fridge... Wrong move! Should have gone on the upper deck of the double-decker bed - more difficult for the rotan to reach..heh heh...But I got wiser over time..hah hah hah

 
At 6:29 PM, Blogger yuRa said...

oh kau dah pandai eh? :)

hahah. tulah pegi lah tengok ikan berlaga ke... kumbang terbang ke .. tak boleh? heheh

 

Post a Comment

<< Home